It's not always easy, is it. Awful things happen to good people and individuals and groups less than virtuous sometimes prosper, or at least appear to do. We will all in our time face tragedy and may have occasion to feel lost and alone even when the love of friends, family and colleagues means we are neither. So, how do we develop our capacity to survive; to press on, and how do we encourage others to do so?

From a psychological perspective, the ability to cope with stress and respond in a positive way to difficult life events is known as ‘resilience’. This is the ability to bounce back, so to speak, from the hard knocks that life dishes out without regard for our sensitivities or readiness.

A happy truth is that the capacity to be resilient is not fixed. It can be developed. Paraphrased below are suggestions by the American Psychological Association on how to increase your ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. May you find in this some good learning.

1. Nurture your relationships: have a friend and be a friend.

2. Trust that you can bear crises and stressful life events.

3. Try to be patient and accept the things that cannot be changed right now.

4. Set goals that are realistic and work towards them.

5. Show decisiveness in difficult situations by taking charge of your behaviour.

6. Learn and find meaning in loss.

7. Believe in yourself.

8. Keep a long-term perspective and view the difficult times you face within the broader context of your life.

9. Hope and expect that good things will happen. Visualise the good things.

10. Respond with kindness to the needs of your mind and body by doing things that make you feel well.

For me, the spirit of what it is to be resilient is encapsulated in a touching monologue by Philadelphia's greatest philosopher, Rocky Balboa.

“The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!”